I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
