I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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