you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
