It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
