Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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