he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
