We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
