FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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