hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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