um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
