you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
