Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
