Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm always down for nudity.
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