I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just found puke in my bra..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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