woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
