she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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