awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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