just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
