do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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