How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
