I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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