i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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