If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
