Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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