I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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