I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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