i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
