Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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