We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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