Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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