I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ugly people sure do ruin things
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
