3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
