Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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