I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize