And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
