So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
