No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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