matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
