Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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