Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
