This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
