I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
