Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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