the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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