fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
