There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
