tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize