Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
