guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
