Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
