ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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