the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
