dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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