I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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