You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
