dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
