can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
