The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
