whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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