To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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