If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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