Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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