Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
