ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
