i barfeds in our rink
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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