Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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