You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
