STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
