Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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