Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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