There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need water and some morals
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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